role playing

My husband and I have been talking a lot lately about our thoughts on the roles of husband and wife in the household.

imageCall me old-fashioned maybe because I was raised by my daddy but I believe whole heartedly in a man being head of the household – we are a team but when it comes to matters of the home he is king and I his queen.

there are so many bible quoting women who surprisingly speak of the roles of a wife but will turn around and their actions don’t speak of their understanding of the material they quote or roles.  For instance, in our home (and many of my close friends) before we make plans and decisions especially in regards to the house {visitors, budget, favors, etc} the first thing we say is “let me talk to my husband,” and if he isn’t on board it’s a no-go.  Many times we are so in tune with our husband one of us will say well my husband isn’t even going for that, haha. Especially if our hard-working husbands have a crazy work week and we know they will want and need their rest.

If anyone has ever [ever] disrespected my husband and he isn’t a fan of them they aren’t welcome in our home-at all or until they have apologized or had a discussion with him – many of my gals support their spouse in that regard as well; it goes for (parents, siblings, coworkers and friends ) no one, I repeat no one will disrespect my husband because we are one so if you disrespect him you are disrespecting me. No it doesn’t mean he runs me or is controlling but it’s a mutual respect — he would do the same for me. So many women don’t get that and they welcome/invite anyone in with no regards for how their spouse feels {that goes for mothers staying for an extended period of time thinking just because it’s your mother he should be okay and deal with it}. The same goes for moving family members into their inner sanctum, a hard-working man’s home is his safe place, where they rest their head with no stress and strain –why would a wife want to take that from him? A little consideration goes a long way, let’s be real no matter how much we like our mother-in-law we as adults {queens of our house}do not want to come home from work, have a “healthy”argument with our husband or raise our children with eyes watching, judging or the more outspoken ones actually stepping in. We need to feel comfortable in our own space and place.

There is nothing that makes me cringe more than a woman boasting that she doesn’t care what her husband says she does what she wants, or telling her friends that she has another child [her husband] or when they brag about making decisions in the home their husband won’t be happy about when he finds out but he will have to accept it– how is that being a good christian wife? how is that helping your marriage? How is that supposed to make your husband feel as though he is head of the household? And stop effing holding the phrase ” happy wife, happy life” over his head…that phrase doesn’t mean at the cost of his manhood or role in the house, or so that he is miserable.

it is important in our marriage to walk the walk[if you aren’t sure how your husband feels about certain things try this, have a discussion]  in the words of The Rock…




2 thoughts on “role playing

  1. Diana Lo says:

    I totally agree with you.
    I do think that your role in the relationship… is the one that’s needed at that time. For example, If I have a busy work and business week and bringing home the bacon, then he needs to take care of home (cooking, cleaning, kids) and if he’s the one working like crazy for the week, then I take care of home. I don’t believe that one spouse has to have one primary role. That’s stressful and a lot of pressure. Then again, if one spouse is really good at that one role, it might be best to stick with that role. Whatever works in that home is what should stick. It’s important to stay flexible too. As the years go by, your home’s needs will change and you should be willing to change with it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rickettedly Awesome says:

      I whole heartedly agree with that I don’t believe in any one spouse doing it all or having single focus but most times there are strengths and one spouse takes on certain roles over others…for instance in our house I’m primary caregiver to the kids and bill payer while hubs takes care of anything fixing cars, taking out trash, lawn maintenance ( not that I can’t do any of those things-I don’t want to lol)

      But this post is in regards to wives who want to wear the pants in the marriage- who don’t know their role as a wife in regards to matters taking control or wanting to be in control not caring about their spouse’s thoughts or feelings. Such as the example of welcoming someone into your home without a discussion with your spouse or having a discussion and your spouse isn’t on board but your proceed anyway dismissing their input. I think some look at it like well he doesn’t control me…but I tend to look at it like mutual respect for one another in a home that is both of yours. Because what can happen is once a spouse feels like their input is dismissed they will either shut down or they will in turn start to do their own thing since that’s been established as how your marriage/relationship works. You know?


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